Integrating Paraphrasing, Reflected Feelings, and Summarizing The following dialogue between Susan..

Integrating Paraphrasing, Reflected Feelings, and
Summarizing

The following dialogue between Susan and her crisis
counselor demonstrates the skills of paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, and
summarizing:

Susan: I really thought things were going well with my
husband, so it came as a complete shock when I found out about the affair.

Counselor: You were really blindsided by this. (Paraphrase)

Susan: Exactly! And I’ve been trying to push away the pain,
but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Sometimes I just want to strangle
him for putting me through this. Other times I want to die!
»

Integrating Paraphrasing, Reflected Feelings, and
Summarizing

The following dialogue between Susan and her crisis
counselor demonstrates the skills of paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, and
summarizing:

Susan: I really thought things were going well with my
husband, so it came as a complete shock when I found out about the affair.

Counselor: You were really blindsided by this. (Paraphrase)

Susan: Exactly! And I’ve been trying to push away the pain,
but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Sometimes I just want to strangle
him for putting me through this. Other times I want to die!

Counselor: Even though you want so much for the pain to go
away, it’s still there, especially your hurt and anger toward him. Is that
right? (Paraphrase with a reflection of feeling)

Susan: Yes, and sometimes I can’t tell which is worse, my
anger or just the hurt I’m going through. I sometimes lie in bed at night and
wish something terrible would happen to him. I’m not saying I want to kill him
or anything, but I just want him to suffer like I’m suffering.

Counselor: And this reflects the intensity of your grief
right now, wanting to see him suffer, too. (Reflection of feeling)

Susan: Very true.

Counselor: So, in essence, you never expected something like
this to happen to you, and it has been difficult for you to tough it out and to
push away the pain, grief, and anger that you’ve been feeling. Is that about
right? (Summary with check for accuracy)

Discussion Questions

1. How effective was the counselor’s use of paraphrasing,
reflecting feelings, and summarizing?

2. What alternative responses may also have been helpful?

3. Put yourself in the position of the client. What
counselor responses would have elicited even better or more informative
responses by the client?

»