What do you hope to study and also talk about what you hope to do after graduate school?

Imagining that “you are me”, who is preparing for a Graduate Application to the Global (World) History program at Oxford University.
Please effectively and reasonably use all sources I provide on this Instruction page to accomplish an excellent Personal Statement. I have written a personal statement, but it needs drastic revision and changes. I will attach my resume and my original draft of the personal statement on this page. They are significant, please carefully and effectively “use” them. Make sure you have read my original personal statement before you write this new personal statement.
This Personal Statement should introduce yourself (background), especially your interests and motivations for undertaking the program. What are your Strengths and achievements? Why is Oxford (and the Oxford history department) the right place for you to study this subject?
In my original personal statement, I focused on my childhood interest in history in the first half part. Nevertheless, my professors all suggest that no one wants to hear my boyhood in an academic statement after reading my personal statement. Therefore, in this new statement, please focus on “why you want to go to graduate school and study global history, and why that specific program (global history) is the best fit for you. What do you hope to study and also talk about what you hope to do after graduate school? Make sure you take about your publications and give titles of them – they are the most important element to show the selection committee that you are serious about writing and being an academic. (I will specifically talk about these details as below)My academic journey start at University of California – IrvineIn this excellent University, I obtained the opportunity to “work” with outstanding scholars and enlightened instructors. I gradually appreciate the charm of academic learning and research. The UCI (history major)education trains and motivates me to developcritical intelligence and foster an awareness of ourselves and our worldthrough the study of the past. These diverse and interdisciplinary courses (some of them even taught by two instructors from different departments/disciplines) not simply learned me constructing logical arguments, critical thinking, and macro perspectives (I mean wide-ranging views), but also the glamour or significance of interdisciplinary studies. Like What I always believed, history is a “pivotal subject” that links and contributes to the development of many other subjects or areas of study.To better understand our world through more comprehensive perspectives. I add International Studies as my minor, which providesan interdisciplinary and global perspective on global politics, economics, cultures, andhistory. I have been perfectly benefited from history and international studies – enables me to acquire knowledge and analytical skills to better understandand contribute to shaping the rapidly evolving global community.
Below are my academic interest and concise answer to several significant questions above, like (“why you want to go to graduate school and study global history, and why that specific program (global history) is the best fit for you. What do you hope to study and also talk about what you hope to do after graduate school?) You can be more creative and vivid, remember that we do all of these to prove “I am the right person for the program”.1. Keep pursuing my academic journey. I find that World History program is perfectly appropriate for my interests. The world is more interconnected than ever. Most graduate studies in history are still confined bynational and regional boundaries. The Global history program provides an importantalternative. Rather than focusing on area studies, it trains students to transcendthem. It is significant for us to understand our current world in a more comprehensive, multiple, and even interdisciplinary way.2. I want to go to graduate school to keep training/improving my empirical research ability,macro-historian ideas, and establish my own comparative and cross-cultural view to better understand the history and our current world.3. I wish I could keep pursuing the phD program in history (My application program is a MPhil program) and finally become an historian (researcher) in university. I have been a history enthusiast since I was a boy – becoming a historian is my dream.
My academic acahievements1. a high Gpa of 3.93 (of 4.00)2. a total of three publications. I love to study history even before i attending the university. I fortunately participated a summer research program in global history taught by Professor Richard Payne of University of Chicago when I am a high school student. This is my first history research course and my final paper “Discovering multiple rolesof the Great Wall of China” deal with the transregional history in ancient China and Middle Asia. It has been chosen as an excellent high-school-student work and published in Studying Abroad Magazine in 2018.(Pay attention on the two other publication) After attending the University, I learned a lot in academic writing and conducting research (you can be creative at this point and talk about my growth in academic interest and ability). My paper “Exploring the Origin of theThree-Strikes Law” explore the history origin of the Three-Strikes Law in a transregional way and multiple perspectives. It has been successfully published in China Popular Science – a National Level Academic Journal of China. Also, I practiced the quantitative literacy ability and research writing ability I learned from my study in University in my paper “Is Education and Vocational Training anEffective Solution in Reducing Repeat Offending?” which has been successfully included by Education Digest – a national level academic journal and core journal of China. (These publications are trying to show my strength in academic achievement in writing and learning). I won the first prize in China Nationwide Teachingand Research Outstanding Paper Prize due to my successful publication in national level academic journal.
My original personal statement is written for a economic history program and the facts prove that it is weak because I spend too much time on inessential things. Please effectively utilize the information in this instruction page to write this new statement for a world history program (the original statement could support your new statement).
(Here are some official introductions about oxford) You can do some research by yourself regarding Oxford University and its history and thus better explain the strength of Oxford and answer “Why is Oxford the right place for you to study this subject?“Workingas an Oxford graduate student is likely to be an exhilarating experience.History in Oxford stretches from circa 300 AD to the present, and embraces inaddition to its British and European heritage an exceptionally broad range ofWorld history. It comprises an active research communityof up to 800 senior academics and graduate students, all contributing to arange of research seminars, lectures, academic societies, and personalcontacts. Research in the faculty isorganised around historical periods and research centres, or in collaborativeand individual research projects, and you will always be welcome at seminars,workshops and conferences across all periods and themes.You will be encouraged to makeuse of these opportunities as widely as possible without endangering your owndegree work. Striking the right balance between intellectual curiosity andtemptation and intellectual discipline, and remaining focused without becomingblinkered, should be an integral part of a successful graduate career. TheOxford environment provides all the ingredients for this.”
This Personal Statement should approximately 1000 words. (better do not exceed 1000 words)
(Please do not hesitate to ask me for any additional information or clarifications. Also, you do not need to follow the sequence I provided. I understood that my diction and grammar are terrible so you do not need to keep my original sentences on this page but improve them.
Please pay special attention to this instruction page since it provides the most important sources of me. You can also refer to my resume for any helpful information.
Try to be creative, concise, and concrete, presenting an impressive and unique personal statement. Remember that we do all of these to prove that”I am the right person”.